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Nov 15

Postmarital Checkup Questions

As a biblical counselor, you know all too well the importance of taking engaged couples through a thorough premarital counseling program. But, what do you do for them once the honeymoon is over? It has been my practice to schedule a postmarital counseling session approximately three months after “the big day” to help ensure that my newlyweds are off to a good start. The agenda that I follow is quite simple. I walk them through the following checklist of basic troubleshooting questions (several of which I have no doubt collected from sources which I have long since forgotten). They are “basic” in that depending upon the responses given, several follow-up questions are usually required. Sometimes, the checkup session is over in forty minutes. Sometimes, I’m unable to get through half of my list in an hour. Occasionally, I learn of issues that will require several more sessions. I offer these questions for your consideration and pray that they will help strengthen your premarital counseling ministry.

  • Tell me about your honeymoon.
  • Were you able to get all of your premarital counseling homework done before the wedding? After the wedding?
  • What have you enjoyed most about being married?
  • What have been the greatest adjustments you’ve had to make since getting married?
  • How well have you been able to resolve conflicts with each other?
  • How much time does it normally take to resolve conflicts?
  • Have you had any conflicts that you were not able to resolve by yourselves?
  • Have you had any conflicts with (or about) your in-laws?
  • Have you been able to stick to your budget?
  • How is your sexual relationship?
  • Have you found a church home?
  • How much time are you spending in uninterrupted communication every day?
  • How regularly are you reading your Bible?

* These questions are for couples with children from previous marriages or relationships (blended families).

  • How have the children adjusted to having a new father/mother figure in their lives? *
  • Has it been difficult getting all of your marital/family responsibilities fulfilled while going to school or working outside of the home?
  • Are there any issues with the children that we need to discuss?*
  • Are there any other issues that either of you would like to discuss before we close this session?